Every bride dreams of a perfect wedding day. While many aspects, such as the dress, venue, and catering, can be meticulously planned, ensuring everything goes smoothly is never guaranteed. One woman thought she had the ideal approach to achieve a flawless wedding, but she soon realized that not everyone shared her views.
The soon-to-be bride turned to the popular Reddit thread “Am I The Asshole” (AITAH) to seek advice on whether her expectations of her wedding guests were unrealistic. Her post quickly gained traction and sparked a heated debate. She explained that after sending a set of guidelines to their wedding guests, she and her fiancé received a mixed response.
Before detailing the guidelines, she emphasized that her fiancé was equally involved in creating these rules; they weren’t solely her ideas. One of the main stipulations was an “unplugged ceremony,” where guests were prohibited from using their phones during the ceremony and the subsequent dinner, except in emergencies. While most attendees understood the phone ban during the ceremony, many felt the restriction during dinner was excessive. Some parents expressed concerns about needing to check on their children left at home. However, the bride insisted that if she made an exception for one person, she would have to do so for everyone.
Another rule required all guests to wear black, with men in tuxedos and women in gowns. This mandate upset several guests, particularly her aunt, who had just started wearing colorful clothing again after her husband’s passing. The bride refused to budge, even when her future sister-in-law, who has body dysmorphia and prefers pants for comfort, requested an exception. Additionally, the bride instructed her bridesmaids to maintain their weight, whether that meant eating more or less, and the couple had ordered their dresses months in advance. This specific rule angered the bride’s mother, who warned her that the wedding was “doomed.”
During the ceremony, the bride requested that the flower girl be left at a hotel with a babysitter. Since the wedding venue was four hours away by car, the maid of honor declined and chose to leave her daughter with her mother instead. This decision cost the bride her flower girl.
Despite her attempts to justify her restrictions, many Reddit users felt she and her fiancé were being unreasonable and labeled them as the “assholes” in the situation. Commenters pointed out that while couples are free to plan their weddings as they wish, guests have the right to decline invitations and are not obligated to comply with unreasonable demands. Ultimately, there was a consensus on Reddit that the couple’s strict rules were excessive.
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