After thirty long years of marriage filled with silent dinners, mismatched socks, and TV arguments over the remote, a husband and wife finally decide to seek professional help. They sit stiffly on opposite ends of the therapist’s couch, arms crossed, eyes avoiding contact — the tension so thick, you could butter toast with it.
The therapist, calm and composed, leans forward and asks gently, “So, what seems to be the problem?”
The wife doesn’t hesitate. She launches into a heartfelt — and rather loud — monologue. “Where do I even begin?” she cries. “For three decades I’ve felt invisible. No affection, no compliments, no date nights. He ignores me, neglects me, treats me like part of the furniture! I feel unloved, undesirable, completely disconnected! It’s like I’m married to a stone!”
She goes on and on, recounting every slight, every cold moment, every unmet need since their wedding day. The husband just sits there blinking slowly, looking like he’s either deep in thought or trying to remember if he left the oven on.
After a few minutes of her impassioned rant, the therapist stands up silently, walks over to her, and says, “Ma’am, would you please stand?”
Confused but curious, the wife stands up.
To the husband’s utter shock, the therapist wraps his arms around her and kisses her—gently, then deeply, then with a kind of slow-burning passion that hasn’t been seen in their house since the Reagan administration.
When the kiss ends, the woman sits back down, dazed and silent, cheeks flushed, her entire demeanor changed. The room falls quiet.
The therapist turns to the husband and says firmly, “Sir, your wife needs this kind of affection at least three times a week. Can you manage that?”
The husband stares for a moment, scratching his chin.
Then he shrugs and says, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays… but Fridays? Sorry doc, that’s fishing day.”
🎣😂 Marriage advice… not quite what he expected!
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