Bob, an undertaker renowned for his calm demeanor and professional approach, came home one evening with an unusual, shiner of a black eye. His wife, noticing the bruised puffiness around his left eye, looked up from her knitting with concern.
“What happened to you?” she asked, furrowing her brow.
Bob let out a heavy sigh and slumped into a chair, clearly eager to unload the bizarre tale of his day. “You won’t believe it, but I’ve had a terrible day!” he began, rubbing his temples as if trying to dissolve the chaos from his mind.
“I was called to a local hotel because a guest had died in his sleep—an unfortunate but not entirely uncommon occurrence in my line of work. When I arrived, the hotel manager was visibly flustered. He informed me that they had a bit of a problem on their hands. ‘We can’t get him into a body bag,’ he said, his face a mix of embarrassment and disbelief. Apparently, the deceased had a very prominent situation,” Bob explained, gesturing vaguely with his hands.
“Oh no, I can already see where this is going,” his wife exclaimed, a mix of sympathy and incredulity lighting up her eyes.
“Sure enough,” Bob continued, “I ascended the stairs and entered the room, expecting to see a body ready for transport. Instead, there lay a big naked man sprawled on the bed, completely at peace in death, except for the rather embarrassing fact that he had a massive erection!”
His wife gasped, covering her mouth to stifle a laugh. “What did you do?”
“I panicked a bit, to be honest! I mean, what does one do in such a situation? So, I gathered my wits and thought, ‘I’ve dealt with all sorts of oddities in my career, so let’s just fix this.’ I grabbed his… well, you know, with both hands in a futile attempt to bend it in half!”
“Bob!” she exclaimed, half shocked, half amused. “That sounds incredibly awkward! But how on earth did you end up with a black eye?”
With a sheepish grin, Bob recounted the punchline of his tale: “In the midst of this ridiculousness, I didn’t realize that the deceased’s romantic partner had entered the room! I heard a sudden gasp and turned around just in time to see her swinging a handbag at my head, mistaking me for some sort of bizarre intruder!”
His wife burst into laughter, shaking her head in disbelief. “Only you, Bob. Only you would have such an outlandish day at the office!”
Bob chuckled, his tension easing. “At least it makes for a great story, right? Just another day in the life of an undertaker!”
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