It was a quiet Tuesday morning when Officer Daniels, a seasoned cop with a love for coffee and speed traps, sat parked just off Highway 65, sipping his third cup of lukewarm coffee and dreaming about donuts.
Suddenly, a car whizzed—or more accurately, crawled—past his patrol cruiser… doing a whopping 22 miles per hour.
He blinked. The road was wide, traffic light, and the speed limit clearly posted at 65 MPH.
“Uh-oh,” he muttered, flipping on his lights. “We got ourselves a slow-motion situation.”
The car pulled over obediently. It was a light blue sedan, and inside were five women… all dressed like penguins.
Nuns. In full habit.
He approached the driver’s side window, which rolled down with a gentle squeak.
“Good morning, Sister. Everything alright?” he asked, doing his best to sound respectful.
“Oh yes, officer,” the driver said cheerfully. “We’re just headed to a retreat at St. Jude’s Abbey.”
He nodded. “Sister, I pulled you over because this is a 65 MPH zone, and you were doing… 22.”
The nun looked confused, then chuckled sweetly.
“Oh dear me! I saw all those signs that said ‘22’ and thought that was the speed limit.”
Officer Daniels chuckled. “No, Sister. That’s Route 22 — the highway name, not the speed limit.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh heavens! That makes so much more sense. I did think 22 felt a bit… floaty. Thank you, officer! I’ll correct that immediately.”
Daniels smiled, ready to let her off with a friendly warning. But just then, something caught his eye.
The nuns in the backseat.
They looked like they’d just witnessed the Apocalypse. Eyes wide, hands gripping their rosaries like life vests, pale as altar candles.
One of them was whispering Hail Marys at lightning speed. Another was clutching the car seat like it was the edge of a cliff.
Daniels leaned down slightly. “Sister… what’s going on with your passengers back there? They look like they’ve seen a ghost — or five.”
The driver leaned over and peered into the back, then smiled again.
“Oh, don’t mind them. We just got off of Highway 119.”
Daniels nearly dropped his coffee.
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