He Was in Bed with Another Woman… But What He Said Next Made Her Freeze!

After a long, exhausting shopping trip that involved too many sales and not enough discounts, a wife finally returned home, bags in hand and heels aching. As she pushed open the front door, humming to herself, she sensed something was… off. The house was too quiet. Suspiciously quiet.

She tiptoed down the hallway and slowly cracked open the bedroom door—only to freeze in disbelief.

There, right in the middle of their bed, was her husband… lying cozily under the sheets with a gorgeous young woman who looked like she had stepped straight out of a perfume commercial.

Her eyes widened. Her jaw dropped. The shopping bags hit the floor with a thud. She was about to let out the loudest, most dramatic scream in marital history, when her husband sat up quickly, holding up a calming hand like a man negotiating with a tiger.

“Wait! Just listen before you walk out!” he pleaded.

The wife, stunned into silence, narrowed her eyes but said nothing.

Her husband took a deep breath and began his defense like a man giving his final argument in court.

“On my way home,” he said, “I saw this young woman on the sidewalk. She looked absolutely exhausted—hungry, cold, her clothes in tatters. She was barely getting by. So I did what any kind-hearted husband would do. I offered her a ride.”

The wife folded her arms, lips pursed tightly.

“She said she hadn’t eaten in days… so I brought her home and gave her that leftover roast in the fridge—the one you said was ‘too dry’ and never touched again.”

The wife’s eyes twitched.

“Her shoes were falling apart,” he continued. “So I gave her those pink heels you said were ‘so last season’ and left in the closet for over a year.”

The wife’s arms uncrossed slightly.

“She was shivering, so I gave her that expensive birthday sweater—you know, the one you said made you look ‘washed out’?”

He was gaining momentum now, like a magician revealing his final trick.

“Her pants were torn, so I offered her that pair of slacks you haven’t fit into since… well, since we got married.”

The wife raised an eyebrow. She was still listening. Barely.

“And then,” the husband said, leaning forward with an air of tragic nobility, “just as she was about to leave, she looked around, smiled sweetly, and asked me one simple question.”

He paused for dramatic effect.

“She asked, ‘Is there anything else your wife doesn’t use anymore?’”

He looked up, shrugged helplessly, and said:

“And… well… here we are.”