The Amish Lady and the Highway Patrol Officer

One bright morning, an Amish woman named Martha hitched up her family’s sturdy horse, Samson, to the buggy and set off for town with her young son, Eli. The sun shone warmly as the clip-clop of Samson’s hooves echoed down the quiet country road. Martha was careful to stay to the side, as she always did, to let the faster “English” cars pass by.

As they neared the edge of town, flashing red and blue lights appeared behind them. Martha pulled gently on the reins, bringing Samson to a stop as a highway patrol officer stepped out of his cruiser and approached the buggy.

“Good morning, ma’am,” the officer said, tipping his hat politely. “I’m not going to give you a citation today, but I did want to give you a friendly warning.”

Martha nodded respectfully. “I thank thee, Officer. What seems to be the trouble?”

“Well,” the officer said, walking around to the back of the buggy, “I noticed that the reflector on your rear is cracked and might not be visible at night. It could be dangerous if someone doesn’t see you in the dark.”

Martha smiled. “I shall have my husband, Jacob, repair it as soon as we return home. We appreciate thy concern.”

The officer nodded, then hesitated before speaking again. “There’s, uh… one more thing.” He cleared his throat. “I couldn’t help but notice that one of the reins is tied around your horse’s… well… his testicles. Some folks might consider that cruel, so you might want to have your husband take a look at that, too.”

Martha’s eyebrows lifted slightly, but she remained composed. “Again, I thank thee. I shall have Jacob check on that as well when we return.”

With a final nod, the officer tipped his hat again and returned to his cruiser, shaking his head slightly as he drove off.

Later That Evening…

True to her word, as soon as Martha and Eli returned home, she found Jacob in the barn, mending a harness.

“Jacob,” she said, “the officer stopped us today. He said the reflector on the back of the buggy is broken.”

Jacob wiped his hands on his trousers. “Ach, I’ll fix it right away.”

Martha paused, then added, “He also said… there was something wrong with the emergency brake.”

Jacob’s eyes widened in sudden understanding. Then, with a slow grin, he chuckled and shook his head. “Ah, Martha… I think I know exactly what he meant.”

And with that, he headed out to the buggy—making sure to check all the reins before the next trip to town.