6 Surprising Signs That Your Beloved Might Be Cheating on You

The sinking feeling of suspecting infidelity is one of the most painful emotions to endure, and the lingering doubt that the affair might still be ongoing only adds to the distress.

Determining whether your partner is lying about cheating can be an emotionally taxing endeavor. While obvious signs like coming home late or smelling like someone else’s perfume might raise immediate concerns, infidelity often reveals itself in more subtle ways. Recognizing these understated warning signs requires you to pay attention to changes in behavior, communication, and routines.

1. Reluctance to Make Significant Joint Purchases
   A hesitance to commit to major joint purchases can be a subtle indicator of infidelity. Licensed family therapist David Klow explains that commitments like buying a house or a car suggest a long-term investment in the relationship. If your partner suddenly becomes reluctant about these purchases, especially if it wasn’t an issue before, it could signal they are emotionally distancing themselves, possibly due to infidelity.

Licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., adds that major commitments make it harder to exit a relationship quickly. If your partner becomes defensive or evasive when you inquire about their reluctance, it’s important to address it directly. A sincere conversation about their hesitation can provide clarity. However, if their reaction seems overly flustered or their reasoning doesn’t add up—and it’s clearly not about finances—it may indicate something deeper is at play.

2. Oversharing
   If you casually ask your partner about an office party and they respond with an overly detailed account—naming every guest, describing the dishes, and giving a minute-by-minute rundown—it could be a case of “too much information.” While it may seem like they’re being open, excessive detail can sometimes serve as a distraction from the truth, especially if they’re trying to cover something up.

“Liars tend to talk too much,” says Ramani Durvasula. When someone is truthful, their responses are usually straightforward because they don’t need to work hard to recall the details. In contrast, cheaters may create elaborate stories filled with unnecessary information to make their narrative seem more convincing.

3. Using Cash Instead of Credit Cards
   Experts explain that credit cards are easier to trace than cash. If your partner, who was once focused on earning rewards points, suddenly starts using cash, it might be worth discussing. While a change in spending habits doesn’t always indicate infidelity—there could be a reasonable explanation—it’s important to address the situation if these patterns seem suspicious and you can’t identify a valid reason for the shift. You deserve clarity, regardless of the outcome.

3. Their Phone Goes Everywhere with Them
   A quick note of caution: some people are simply attached to their phones out of habit or boredom, which doesn’t necessarily indicate infidelity. However, if this behavior is a recent change for your partner, it can be concerning. “They know that messages from the other person can arrive at any time,” Durvasula explains. If your partner used to read magazines while in the bathroom and suddenly starts taking their phone, it may be worth paying closer attention.

3. Sudden Changes in Music or Hobbies
   If your partner suddenly takes up bungee jumping despite a fear of heights, starts listening to classical music after always preferring heavy metal, or becomes passionate about cooking when they previously only made simple meals, it could be a sign of trying to impress someone new. Experts suggest that this behavior might indicate they’re infatuated with someone else and are adopting their tastes.

3. Unusual Body Language
   By now, you should feel comfortable conversing with each other. However, if your partner is hiding something, pay attention to unusual (and often unconscious) behaviors, advises body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D. “Rocking back and forth indicates they’re feeling nervous around you,” she says.

3. If their previously good posture suddenly changes, it might be a red flag. “Hunching over can be a way of retreating into a fetal position, which people do when they feel ashamed or know they’ve done something wrong,” the expert claims.

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