Here’s a rephrased version of your text:
“It might just be a text image.
Our somewhat chubby cat slipped between our knees as she entered the house and then darted upstairs just as our Uber arrived.
My husband dashed inside to grab our cat, who enjoys chasing our parakeet, and took her back to the backyard since we didn’t want to leave them unsupervised.
I informed the Uber driver that my husband would be a little delayed because he was saying goodnight to my mom, wanting to keep our house’s emptiness a secret for the evening.
As the car pulled away, the driver said, “Sorry it took so long; that annoying cat was hiding under the bed, and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her out!” This left me feeling both horrified and amused. Moments later, he climbed into the Uber, all flustered.
When she tried to escape, I grabbed her by the neck and covered her with a blanket to avoid her scratching me like before.
But it worked! She better not mess in the vegetable garden again after I tossed her into the backyard following a struggle down the stairs. There was an awkward silence in the Uber.”
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