Not all parents are loving, nurturing, or protective of their children. Sometimes, those who are expected to be steadfast sources of support and security instead become the greatest sources of betrayal, leading to profound disappointment and lasting trauma. A similar situation occurred with a 30-year-old man during his life. Disowned by his parents, he suffered through their rejection. Yet, after his passing, they quickly sought to claim his house as their inheritance. The late man’s boyfriend took to Reddit to share the details of this family drama, seeking opinions and advice from others about this complex and emotionally charged situation.
A 33-year-old man posted on Reddit to tell an extremely controversial and unsettling story.
Under the username DearFerret9268, he turned to one of Reddit’s communities to share his experience and ask for the opinions of others regarding his very complicated and stressful life situation. He started his post by saying: “My boyfriend [30M, RIP] and I [33M] were together for 15 years. His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, but my family took him in. He saved money and bought a house, and now, after he passed away, his family has appeared, expressing their regrets about not being in their son’s life and so on.”
The man elaborated that, during those years, his family supported his deceased partner in finishing high school and provided as much assistance as they could. He mentioned that he works in HR while his late partner worked in IT, and since he began working, he earned a good income. The OP shared that his partner purchased the house ten years ago and that he had been paying the mortgage entirely by himself.
An important detail he provided was, “Four years ago, he got the diagnosis. He reduced his working hours to care for his health, and I stepped in to pay the mortgage.”
After this, the late man’s family entered the scene, making numerous claims and demands.
The OP continued with his account, expressing, “It was a hard battle, but cancer took him back in March. After he passed away, his family came back, claiming they regretted not being part of his life. Time went on, and a month ago, they reached out to me, asking when they could expect me to give them the keys to the house. Since same-sex marriage is not legal, they believed they could claim the house as their family.”
Conflict of interests emerged quickly, and the situation became increasingly tense. The OP detailed, “I told them that the house was in my name; I ‘bought’ it from him a year into his cancer battle, so it was legally mine, and I had been paying the mortgage long before that. They became upset, saying I was being unreasonable, that it should be legally theirs, and that my boyfriend would have wanted to give them the house, which is true; my boyfriend often talked about how he would give everything to them if that could mend their relationship.”
The OP wanted to avoid initiating any fights and proposed a reasonable solution.
He wrote, “Actually, he bought the house as a way to bring them to live with him so that they wouldn’t have to rent; he also attempted to reconcile with them throughout that time, but it was unsuccessful. I told them that I would sell them the house for the price I bought it from my boyfriend, and they would have to reimburse me for the previous four years of mortgage payments and take over the debt under their name. They said they didn’t have the money and that it was selfish of me to tell them that, knowing what my boyfriend would have wanted. They proposed simply changing the debt into their name and giving me nothing in return, but I declined. They became angry, and the discussion escalated to the point where they threatened to take me to court, accusing me of scamming my boyfriend to obtain the house (which they can’t).”
The late man’s parents refused to accept that they wouldn’t receive the house for free.
The OP shared, “They have been constantly calling and texting me for the past month, telling me I would be a vile person towards my boyfriend if I don’t give them the house. I know they can’t repay all the money I invested in the house, but I am feeling conflicted right now. Some friends told me that I should give them the house and move on with my life, but that just doesn’t feel right to me. I’m leaning more towards not giving them the house, but I realize my boyfriend would jump at the chance to give it to them if he thought it would repair their relationship. Right now, their words feel hollow and as if they are simply trying to take advantage of the situation. Honestly, I don’t need the house, but I don’t want to give it to them either. We never discussed what should happen to the house after his passing, so would I be a bad person if I don’t give them the house?”
People rushed to the comments section to share their emotional opinions and advice with the frustrated man.
One commenter was quick to comfort the OP, writing, “He would have given them the house while he was alive because he missed them that much. They refused to have anything to do with him, even when he was dying. If you give them the house now, then they benefit from him despite having rejected him during his life. Keep the house because you’re the one who loved your boyfriend. You owe his awful family, who disowned him at 17, nothing.”
Another user added, “Call the police and report the harassment. Because you are being harassed; you offered a very reasonable solution that they declined. Your boyfriend wanted you to have the home, which is why it’s legally in your name! Don’t let these people take advantage of you. They didn’t care about him when he was alive, so they shouldn’t get his house!”
A third commenter stated, “You owe them nothing. Your partner sold you the house knowing how ill he was. He wanted you to have a stable place to live. While he was alive, he expressed a desire to do anything to mend relationships with them—but that was never tested, as they did not want a relationship with him. Over the years, he had the chance to give them everything but did not, as there was no relationship. He wouldn’t want you to give them the house you shared, as the relationship you had with him was real, whereas the one he had with his family was not.”
As he sorted through his grief and the mounting tension surrounding the situation, the OP was reminded to stand firm in his decisions and feelings, stating unequivocally that giving up the house wouldn’t honor the bond he had with his late partner, especially since the family only sought to stake their claim to the property after his death, not having reached out to claim him while he was alive.
The commenters offered their condolences: “Keep your home. They are not family to you or him. It is too late for a relationship between him and his family; having the home will not create that relationship now. I send my condolences on your loss. May your memories of him bring you comfort.”
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